It's been several weeks since school ended, and I've been swimming in free time (but before you get jealous, this doesn't feel like swimming in the ocean; this feels like trying to swim in marshmallows). I kind of don't know what to do with myself, and it also begs the question, what the hell was I doing with myself before I went back to school?
A large part of me can't wait for school to start again (although I am still teaching, just not that much), while a second large part wishes I was better at enjoying marshmallows, and another, also quite large part feels like I proved whatever it was that I needed to prove by going back to school for a semester, like I was on a reality show about moms and kids and swapping, and now it's time to return to our regularly scheduled programming.
The problem with that third large part is that I am nowhere near done. The other problem, having just registered for the spring, is that I can't realistically take more than 2 classes per semester while still having a job and trying not to go crazy. So, the five year plan may actually be six. Did I mention somewhere in there I have to fit in a hip replacement? Ha. Yes.
The good part: I've been fortunate enough to be observing a double amputee learning to walk with his prostheses the past few weeks, which is humbling, and fascinating, and emotional, and helps my brain to stop swimming in marshmallows and focus. It's as if the universe knew that I was feeling weary, and threw me a little view of my future to keep me on track. "You'll get to this place, working with clients like these," says the universe. "Slow down. Don't worry about how long the pre-recs are going to take. You'll get here."
